I grew up in Indiana and in a Christian home. At age 11, during a Wednesday night church service, I undoubtedly felt God’s tug on my heart to follow Him, and I accepted Jesus as my Savior. At that age life was fairly simple, no pressures except to remember my lunch money and to get my homework done. Then the teenage and young adult years came with furry, challenging my self-image.
I found myself searching for purpose and meaning in people, and also in myself. Whether that was my friends or in relationships, I poured my heart into them. I became fixated on what people thought of me and was living for the acceptance of the world. One evening a friend asked me, ‘how do you think GOD feels about you’? It hit me that I have been pursuing acceptance in ways that would never satisfy, and only God, in His infinite love for me, could satisfy my deepest need for value and acceptance. In that moment I committed to living for God instead of others.
I am not perfect and I still mess up, but God loves me despite my flaws and imperfections. He has given me fulfillment, purpose, and joy. Now, after 32 years of marriage, 2 grown boys and 2 grandchildren, God continually reminds me that pursuing anything but Him (including the cutest grandchildren in the world) will leave me less than satisfied.
God has never once left me. He has shown Himself to me in His Word, in joys, and in struggles. God has always been the One who meets my deepest need, even when I didn’t recognize it. He is teaching me that following Him means being satisfied in Him. I thank God He rescued me from myself!